


Another Lesson in Violence

by ReptilianApathy



Series: Crawl Before the Walk [2]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Study, Cults, Dark, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Deviates From Canon, Diary/Journal, F/M, Insanity, Internal Monologue, Introspection, Loss of Identity, Manipulative Relationship, Memories, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Non-Chronological, POV First Person, Physical Abuse, Psychopathology & Sociopathy, Religious Fanaticism, Retrospective, Sadism, Stream of Consciousness, Torture, Unreliable Narrator, Violence, Weapons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-04
Updated: 2019-06-04
Packaged: 2020-04-07 18:03:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19090255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReptilianApathy/pseuds/ReptilianApathy
Summary: I no longer knew why I was doing this. Was it to gain my saviour’s favour or just for a measure of piece, a scrap of control I was deprived of during my transformation, I wasn’t sure. I also wasn’t sure if I cared anymore.If it was the former, I clearly had succeeded when I felt hands promptly wrapping around my waist.“Very good. You arouse me,” he murmured in my ear.





	Another Lesson in Violence

_Day ???_

_I am a dove._

_If I am a dove then I have to be pure and if I am not pure then I am not worthy and if I am not worthy then I will suffer and if I will suffer I will make others who are also not worthy suffer and suffer and suffer and suffer and suffer and suffer_

***

“Where are we going? The saviour said the ceremony is being held in the hall…” I smiled when a twinge of hesitation resounded in my companion’s voice. Just a few other steps and I would finally have my fun.

We were heading to a secluded wing of the building as I led her further away from the staircase. The floor was abandoned and not part of our immediate renovation; it wasn’t conveniently located and required more work than we could afford. Rot infested upper corners and crept downwards, and while the electricity was cut off long ago, somehow one bulb flickered uneasily. I didn’t mind, but the girl next to me started freaking out much too early for my liking.

“This place is so bland.” I gestured vaguely around the corridor. “It needs a splash of red, don’t you think?”

“Ugh, I guess? Can you please tell me why we are here?”

To her credit, the girl tried to be polite. I glanced towards the staircase and once I made sure we were far enough, I slowly turned around, shifted the weight on my right leg, and shoved my unsuspecting victim into the wall. My sympathetic smile morphed into an ugly snarl as her own face expressed utter disbelief and confusion. I plucked out a knife and raised it threateningly. Her brain probably hadn’t registered yet that I wasn’t playing around.

“What do you want?” At least she was forward, but I didn’t approve of the terrified gleam in her eyes. Apart from finding herself in a compromising position, apparently she sensed the flame that ignited in me and sought to devour all the reason I had left. I scoffed inwardly; not always would I be anxious as a result of some stray girl, who stared pleadingly and thought she would avoid what I had in store for her. Maybe I was going soft.

“I assure you, I don’t have anything you need. Please, I’m scared…”

I chuckled darkly.

“You’re scared?” I repeated her words mockingly. “How do you think I feel whenever these lewd lips of yours mouth the word _saviour_?”

Her eyes widened with a seeming recognition and an infuriating glimmer of hope settled there.

“If that’s what it is about, then I won’t interfere… I had no idea that you and him…”

She was predictable, seeking to talk her way out of this. I was getting bored, but after all, I haven’t gotten to the point yet.

I openly laughed at her. “You really are new, aren’t you?” I shook my head like I was recovering from a particularly good joke. “No wonder the elixir is used in the  cleansings. Tad obsolete if you ask me, but I can see the purpose.”

She'd been behaving thus far, so I slowed my movements a bit and told her to hold still when I wrenched the hood of her robe and nailed it to the wall with the knife. It was dangerously close to her face so she wouldn’t have the luxury to relax or attempt anything funny. I stepped back to examine my handiwork, then unexpectedly kicked her in the gut. She yelped and curled in on herself, and I was convinced she would have collapsed had she not been pinned in place.

She struggled to say something, but I hit her again and the only sound that escaped her was a choked gurgle. I wouldn’t let the nervousness affect me.

“Now, we don’t do that here.” I helped her up by yanking her by the hair. “Trust me, I’m teaching you a lesson.”

When she stood upright, slightly slouched to the side, I cupped her face and surveyed her look. Tears were already streaming down her cheeks and her lips quivered. I hummed thoughtfully and tugged at her plump lower lip. She was pretty, with flowing hair and large doe eyes, the assets that we didn't require in our organisation, not unless she was given to the believers as a doll. The girl didn’t strike me as stupid, either. Better for me, really, for I wouldn’t be bothered by pity towards a dumb, insignificant creature.

The knocks earlier were methodical, purely to prepare her, and didn’t feed the burning need inside me, the tendrils of which gripped my soul. I shoved her once more for good measure, finally removing the blade from her clothing, and let her crumple to the ground like a leaf forgotten by the autumn wind. Aside from occasional sobs, she was silent, left breathless by the blows. However, when I hovered above her waist, the girl cried, trying to move away and protect the abused stomach. Without a doubt, she would have started flailing wildly if she had not been in so much pain. I tsked disapprovingly. The new ones never lasted.

I repositioned my foot, aiming for the chest this time, and brought it down experimentally. Her body tensed in anticipation from the light touch, wisely expecting worse. I dug the heel into the girl’s sternum, just to toy with her and drive her towards the edge with the suspense. I wouldn’t always linger like this, but I understood that inflicting misery occasionally demanded patience. A dark whisper urged me on, yet I resisted, at least for one moment more. Only when the yawning hollowness tugged at the seams, threatening to swallow me, did I give in and stepped on the girl’s ribs, eliciting a strangled choke from her. Although I applied only half the weight, there was a satisfying crack.

I loved how she was immediately reduced to a wriggling worm, regardless of all her beauty.

I wanted to keep on the torture, because I felt like then I would be able to satisfy the emptiness, even if the vessel never approached its full capacity. Unfortunately, I knew I needed to stop; the limitations of human flesh wouldn’t contain the gaping chasm in me. Just as I was contemplating on what to do next, I heard a sharp gasp from behind.

I observed as the saviour approached me, his tired face now contorted with anger. I used to think restoring our organisation would bring him peace, but judging by how me playing with my food moved him, I couldn’t count on that. Nevertheless, he appeared divine, radiant aura enveloping his whole being, considerably distinct from our bleak surroundings. Despite the fact that the ardent glow in his eyes had dimmed significantly, my breath still caught in my throat every time I looked at him.

“You were supposed to cleanse, not ruin her!” He snapped.

I tried to stay focused, but my mind was getting cloudy as it drifted away to welcome a not-so-distant memory. The knife I held on firmly slipped from my suddenly clammy hands.

“That’s not what you said back then,” I muttered.

_Warm blood splattered on my face. The stench of copper entered my nostrils and a feral grin curved my lips upward._

_I no longer knew why I was doing this. Was it to gain my saviour’s favour or just for a measure of piece, a scrap of control I was deprived of during my transformation, I wasn’t sure. I also wasn’t sure if I cared anymore._

_If it was the former, I clearly had succeeded when I felt hands promptly wrapping around my waist._

“ _Very good. You arouse me,” he murmured in my ear. I heard the pop of a bottle being opened and readied myself to kneel. He dismissed me with a wave of the hand and offered a pill straight to my waiting tongue._

_I was glad to have met my saviour. I had a chance to shape my new life the way I wanted. No expectations. No tight social norms to fit into. I knew that not everyone was that lucky, which filled me with sadness and determination. If helping others meant having my own subjects under my rule, then like hell I would exploit them. I was going to bleed my opportunities dry._

I was wrestled from my malevolent reverie by the saviour himself. I smiled absently, momentarily forgetting where and who I was with.

“We’re leaving.” The authoritative tone of his voice brought me back to reality.

“What about _her_? That’s not a way to treat a newcomer.” I sneered, but reluctantly tore my gaze off the wheezing mess on the floor and followed him with a sigh.

In my mind I could see the blood of my victim slowly filling the tiles. So much for redecorating the place.

***

_March 11, Sunday, 17:53_

_I thought this storm, ever-raging inside my head, would abate once I became one with her. Turns out I can’t; I can't stand the look of exhilaration on her face every time she wrecks someone. She shouldn't be allowed to feel this way, not if it's not with me. These eyes should look at me only. What do I do? I feel like she’s slipping away. Perhaps I have made a mistake…_

 

**Author's Note:**

> This probably won't make a lot of sense if treated as a oneshot. Originally it was supposed to be a sequel to my other story, but I'm afraid I won't be able to update it in the near future, so for now it will remain as a standalone piece.  
> Saeran and his interactions with the main character definitely are going to get more "screen time" in subsequent chapters (or, rather, separate oneshots I will put in a series).  
> If you're interested, I highly recommend reading Climb Before the Fall, as it recounts MC's origins.  
> Thanks for reading!


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